You shoulda listened to us when we said to elect both Amy Klobuchar and Elizabeth Warren as co-presidents. Now, look where we are. Joe Biden (who is unpopular if you haven’t read from us) is taking us out of our favorite war — The War in Afghanistan. We get it Joe, your son is dead and you dont wan to send another generation of young men to die in a… blah blah blah.
Now, I know we haven’t bothered to report on the war for the last 10 years. But that doesn’t mean the war doesn’t hold a special place…
Davidson Boswell, an outspoken conservative activist and leader in the anti-lockdown movements springing up around Hospitals in South Carolina, sat down with us for a brief interview about his message.
Q: When Did you first start harassing Nurses in the parking lots of hospitals?
A: It was around the time when I contracted the Coronavirus. I was on the mend, and taking unemployment from Sleepy Joe. I decided I needed to do something productive with my time, so I decided to go down to the Parking Lot at UMSC and scream at the nurses administering the vaccine.
Davidson Boswell, an unemployed New Yorker, has sustained multiple head injuries over the course of his lifetime.
“I remember the first time I got a concussion,” The upbeat millennial reflected as he stood near the Myrtle- Broadway subway tracks in a late-August snowstorm.
“The day was September 11th 2001. I had been watching tv all day and decided to go on the swingset. Next thing I know, Im being loaded on to a Ambulance. I don’t remember what else happened that day.”
Getting on to the train now, the conductor announced that, due to flooding, the train would he moving…
Hard Right Wing Podcaster for the Daily Wire— Davidson Boswell — was driving back from the bar Wednesday after knocking back a few virgin daquiris with his boss — Ben Shapiro — when he came upon an all too familiar scene.
“I opened the door, and what do I see?” Davidson asked to open his Thursday Morning Show. “Yet another man having sex with my wife!”
“It really is a shame, Davidson continued. This is like the 4th or 5th time this year, Ive opened the bedroom door to sights and sounds of my wife in the arms of another…
Donald Rumsfeld was kind enough to stop for me after yet another one of his triumphant press conferences — this one on how the Abu Graihb prisoners will “be paid in exposure” for their troubles.
Secretary Rumsfeld patiently explained to me that none of the thousands of American Soldiers that died nor the millions of Iraqis that died, were him. So, why should he care?
“I dont care” Donald Rumsfeld calmly elucidated. “Those soldiers arent me, neither are the Iraqis. They are not me, or even in my immediate family, so I really don’t see what the big deal is.”
Davidson Boswell, 30, has never had an erection. Man, woman, drunk, sober, it doesnt matter, the man is softer than a silk down comforter covered in lotion.
Speaking of lotion, Davidson saves a lot of it. Lord knows he doesn’t need any in the bedroom.
Davidson is a part of a growing movement in society of proud, impotent men with virtual Japanese girlfriends they carry around on their Nintendo DS’s in their fanny packs.
And to the reader, that might be startling.
The reader might ask, “isn’t that like the movie, Her? a deeply ruminative movie about AI and the…
Davidson Boswell has never had sex with a woman. He stumbles over his words easily and always says the wrong thing at the wrong time. Feeling frustrated with women and the world in general, Davidson decided one day to hop off the Reddit message boards and onto the runway.
Now, the fashion word can’t get enough. Premiering in Milan this February, Davidson showcased a new line of clothing meant for the gentleman who will never, ever have sex.
“The clothes are taylor-made for the man who will be doing nothing but angrily sitting in front of his computer 14 hours…