- New York Times

Dianne Feinstein, 90, the senior Democratic senator from California awoke from her nap in the Senate chamber feeling inspired.

“I saw that cute boy in the green shirt, Zelensky, on the video machine and just knew that my place was on the battle field, next to my fellow World War I survivors.”

“The tension between the Tzars of Russia and the Austria-Hungarian empire has been ready to boil over ever since the 1890’s, when I was just a little girl” she explained.

Asked if she was worried about being able to carry a fully automatic M-16 in an active war zone at the age of 90, she looked up, her eyes steely and full of determination, and uttered these four simple words:

“Who are you, again?”

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I’m doing fine. Why do you even ask?

Whats not to like about right now? It got up to 19 degrees today.

Nah, haven’t been reading the news or anything. Just staying in my lane and grinding.

How’s comedy going? How about you go fuck yourself!

Anyway, great to hear from I’m gonna go, well, I’m just gonna go lay down.

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