How Being a White Comedian Made Me a Men’s Rights Activist

The setting is a circular table at a bar in North Brooklyn. My four close friends and I are all drinking Evan Williams Green Label, neat. This has to be what unleaded gasoline tastes like.

“We would be so much further in our comedy careers if we weren’t white men” I say. We all drink in my statement like unfettered truth.

This has become a ritual of ours. The five of us, going to an open mic at 6pm, in the back rooms of these bars. We get a few laughs, or maybe we bomb, then we get hammered off of seven dollar liquor that would probably be put to better use cleaning bathtubs. Then we go home and brood.

How else do you spend your time on Wednesday? Another Wednesday that the industry doesn’t respect talent. It’s tough, you know? To be immediately sized up based on your race, sex, and appearance.

That is why I have decided to become a men’s rights activist. If neither society nor the entertainment industry will recognize the plight of men, then I will become my own advocate.

It’s about time to shake up society. It is time to remake the entertainment industry to reflect the tastes of men aged 18–35. It is finally time for the man’s voice to be heard in this country.

You know what I mean?