Majority Opinion: We are Noble Servants of a Medieval God, Just Like You

By Samuel Alito, Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh, Amy Coney Barrett, Clarence Thomas, John Roberts (eunuch)

Much has been written in the liberal press about how we religious, apolitical Supreme Court Justices are “wildly unpopular” and “ out of step with the majority of American’s beliefs.” Well, we the court find this to be one thing.

Heresy!

100 lashings for your blasphemy. May your soul burn in hell forever. You are cast out of the kingdom of White America.

OK.

Now that the chosen among us are the only ones left reading this. We did it! We have fulfilled our covenant to God (Old Testament). Women will die. Babies will go unfed. Rejoice!

Our prisons will fill and our country will sink in the sea. Future generations will know nothing but misery and fire. This is a historic victory for us, the real Americans — The True Believers — The chosen among us who know that when we get to the Gates of Heaven, God will look favorably on all the suffering we caused down here on Earth. Then he will cast us down into Hell for not giving enough donations the Republican Party. Then, and only then, can we look up towards the Earth we destroyed with grins on our faces as we are raped by The Devil forever and ever.