Meet The Man Who Invented The Concept That A Bank Could Be Gay

Davidson Boswell, A higher up at Wells Fargo, had an idea one day. He sat at his corner office on a gloomy thursday afternoon looking down at all the ant-people below and wondered: “why do they all hate us?”

“Is it because we stole money from our customers? No. Is it because we fired lower level employees for failing to meet unrealistic sales quotients? No. Is it because we laundered money for drug cartels? Could not be that either.”

“It is because our bank was straight.” Davidson explained. “In the 21st century, if you are going to succeed, your bank has to be at the very least bisexual, if not outright gay.

“It is a bold strategy, and tomorrow, our bank will be coming out to the world. I hope the world is accepting.”

(at the time of this article’s publication Wells Fargo has lost 50% market cap and fired Davidson Boswell for pleasuring himself in the executive bathroom)




Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

Why I Pause When You Want to Shout

Looking back on 2018

How the media perpetuate victim-blaming ideology

The True Abnormality in Normalcy

How this Guy’s Workplace Sexual Harassment Experiences Led to #MeToo Empathy

Girls in the Juvenile Justice System

Shower The People

Toxic Masculinity & Angry, White, Costco Guy

Toxic Masculinity & Angry, White, Costco Guy

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Davidson Boswell

Davidson Boswell

More from Medium

Aiki Wiki, Wikipedia We Have a Problem update, pt 1

Alexander Mamasidikov On How Activism Paved the Way for MinePlex

«Weekly Report» The Change of AIDUS QTS Profit Rate (December 3, 2021)

“Wolf to Wolf” — The Bigger Picture Always Helps