Opinion: Everyone Stop Being Mean to Me, I’m Doing The Best I Can
By Andrew Cuomo
My fellow Cuomosexuals,
As we say in New York, How yous’ guys doin’?
I write this op-ed because I wanted to ask New Yorkers, along with MASKING UP, to please do me another favor — stop being mean to me. It hurts my feelings and makes me not wanna go on TV anymore. It is hard work being Governor. Just last week, as I was getting my nipples re-pierced on St. Marks, I called that Mayor Bill DeBlasio guy and told him he was dreaming if he thought he was gonna get anymore vaccines.
Do you know the mental toll that takes on me to basically ensure more people will die just because you don’t like a person? It’s not just tough, It’s New York Tough.
Then, as my nipples are pulsing from the pain, I check Twitter and what do I see? A bunch of people bitching because I am re-opening restaurants for Valentines day and letting tens of thousands of seniors die in nursing homes. Give me a break. They were poor!
Anyway, as always, please continue to stay New York Tough, which means
Andrew M. Cuomo